watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
