Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
