i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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