This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
