This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
