That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
