i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
