Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
