How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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