Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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