i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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