Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
