That's intense
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize