thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
