What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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