My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
