Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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