I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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