I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
