so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize