he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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