You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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