on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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