I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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