We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
