It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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