Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize