Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
