one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
