just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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