Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
