Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
