I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
