Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
