You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
