The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize