I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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