My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
