More tranny stories later!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
