like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
