i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
