Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
