I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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