im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
