so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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