New invention idea: vibrating tampons
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
