what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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