im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize