Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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