Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
