Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
