Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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