Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
