he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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