It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
