I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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