flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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