So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
