I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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