I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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