we have officially lost it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Too much gin, very little bucket
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
