D3 body, D1 cock
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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