dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
