Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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