so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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