Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
