In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I could fuck to npr.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
