Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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