Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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