so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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