Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
