She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
