I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
