Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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