I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
