I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
