And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
