UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
