Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
