South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
