I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
