moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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