i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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