The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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